Show, Don't Tell

DEFINING SDT

Before I go on, remember that what I'm about to say may or may not resonate with you. And that's okay. It's good to get more than one opinion on any subject because it promotes broader understanding. If something here doesn't sound right to you, have a look at some videos or podcasts on the subject, read some other blogs or articles, and come to your own conclusions. It's always best to take what you think is useful from every source you can!

So, with that out of the way, let's look at SDT in a writing context.

I found an interesting post on Reedsy (https://blog.reedsy.com/show-dont-tell/) that does a pretty good job of describing SDT as using strong, active and descriptive language to convey sensory information about scenes, events and states of mind.

That is an earful, but the idea of showing is to immerse your audience in the story – to put readers inside your scenes so they can feel, hear and see them, and if necessary, smell and taste them too. Telling, on the other hand, only conveys basic information.

I may get some flack for this, but I think showing and telling are equally important and integral parts of every story. You don't want to over or under-use either technique, and you need to be conscious of when you pick one or the other because they serve equally important roles in storytelling. Instead of saying 'show, don't tell,' I think it's more helpful to say 'show here' and 'tell there' because it makes the core concept a lot clearer.

THE PROBLEM

I've struggled with Show, Don't Tell (SDT) for years. And I mean years. In my own experience, I've had editors use this line when they want me to shorten a scene or lengthen it. Or when I need to provide more information, emotion, description, action, etc. Or less of the same thing. If it seems like it means completely opposite things depending on the situation, that's a surprisingly common experience.

Now, when I wrote my current novel LANCET (shameless plug), I sent it through a couple of professional editors. I paid for their services, which were absolutely worth it because they helped me improve as a writer and an editor, and ultimately helped me produce a good, solid novel. And part of this process was coming to a clear understanding of what show, don't tell is and why a lot of us have trouble with the concept. Because it's not just a stand-in for "rewrite this section."

COMPARING SHOW AND TELL

Have a look at these pictures.

Let's say you want to combine them; focus on the season and an old man. In its simplest form, telling would be:

• It was autumn and an old man was walking down the street.

It's straightforward and to the point, with no unnecessary details.

If you apply showing to the same description, you need to flesh out the details. And if you want, try writing your own version in the comments below – I always like to see what you can come up with, and how your ideas are different from mine.

I've done the same, and this is what I ended up with:

• A man with time etched deep in his skin leaned heavily on his cane. His back was bent against the years. His thin hair was a mess of white and grey blowing in the fall wind, his hands were gnarled from hard work and his clothes were at least twenty years out of date. Each step was a struggle to get his old bones to move, but he stubbornly pressed on, one foot in front of the other.

You can see how the second example provides a lot more detail – it sets the scene, implies age and gives you a better idea of what you're looking at. You can feel and hear the cold wind blowing and see a much clearer picture of what this old fellow looks like; there's even an emotional connection to his past and current selves.

However, there is a problem with this approach: you can't take 12 words and turn them into 78 every time, otherwise your novel is going to turn into a multi-book epic, and you may never get to the point. You'll spend all your time describing the little bits and pieces of the world and the people in it, and you're going to wear out your readers. On the other hand, if you go the other way too often, your novel's going to become a short-story, with all the fun sucked out of it.

That's why I say you need to do both. You need to show AND tell, and the balance you strike between the two is going to form a major part of your writing voice and style. Because these decisions will absolutely affect how you convey ideas and emotions through words on a page.

And if you're wondering how to get better at it, the only way is practice. Practice, practice and practice some more. So let's do that now.

LEARNING TO APPLY SHOW AND TELL

A great way to practice SDT is to take a picture – any picture you want. Describe it in a sentence. What's happening, what do you see – just the most basic facts. Try to keep everything to one sentence that explains what the picture is about.

Next, describe it in a paragraph. Use your five senses. Imagine being there; what do you see, hear, taste, feel and/or smell? What emotion do you want a reader to get from your description? Fill in those sensory and emotional details until you have 4-6 sentences.

Finally, cut that paragraph down by a third or half. Try to keep as much of the sensory and emotional information as you can. If we take my previous example about the old man, I can end up with something like this:

• A man with a bent back, wrinkled skin and messy white hair hobbles around the corner, one his of gnarled hands clutching a simple cane. The sharp autumn wind cut through his old clothes down to the bone, making every step a struggle, a stubborn effort to get one foot in front of the other.

I've cut 78 words down to 55 – that's about a 30% reduction. Not too shabby. The important parts still come across without losing much of the original content. And we can do this several times, refining the language and getting rid of things that don't really matter.

For example, if the old man's face and skin are wrinkled, does it matter that his hands are gnarled? Should we add a detail about what the cold feels like? Can we smell the decaying leaves? Do we talk about the changing colors? There are many possible details and combinations.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

It's important to remember that the purpose of this post isn't to get everything exactly right; it's to focus in on what SDT is and how we assign importance to details our scenes, and to start consciously exploring that process. Because as you practice these skills, you'll get better at deciding when you need to show and when telling is enough. Sometimes you don't need to provide any additional information about what is happening or what someone is doing because it's not important to the plot. And sometimes it is, because otherwise the readers are going to get confused or, worse, not form an emotional attachment to the story.

Ultimately, it's up to you as the writer to decide when and where to use both show and tell techniques. I hope this has been helpful.